Contract Marriage Military - When you're in the military, it can be a constant juggling act. Throw in a spouse who is also active in the military with you, and it can feel like a circus at times.
Although the military will treat you as "independent" in assignments, PCS moves, etc., you are still a couple who must make decisions together.
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On the one hand, you both understand the unique circumstances of military life. On the other hand, it can make some challenging decisions. With patience and communication strategies, however, a bisexual marriage can thrive.
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This article will provide insight into what military couples look like and what to expect regarding housing, family planning, and military needs.
Military life is special on many levels, but especially for the time you will spend away from home and loved ones. The cost of adventure and a rewarding career is far from over. As long as you come up with realistic expectations, it will prepare you for the road ahead.
Although it may seem inconvenient and unpleasant, sometimes the call to serve is overwhelming. By maintaining an open relationship with your spouse, you can decide together what works best for your partner's goals. In addition, you must also meet military marriage requirements - such as filling out special paperwork - as required by your department.
What can help you achieve this challenging lifestyle? Regular communication, flexibility, reliability, and clear goals. Building a strong support system is also essential, especially if you have a young family as well.
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Deployment is one of the constants in military life. In a dual military marriage, though, it can feel like you're both constantly deployed. The reality is that you will probably spend more time due to different recruitment cycles.
Good to know: If both spouses are employed at the same time, only the senior member will be allowed to collect family separation allowance. It is paid when separated from dependents for more than 30 days due to military orders.
Unfortunately, dating isn't guaranteed, but all departments have some form of spouse dating program that tries to keep women together or within 100 miles of each other. That way, you're actually able to see each other on vacation.
One of the biggest challenges—especially if you have children—is how quickly roles can change in a two-military household. The responsibility falls on the unmarried spouse, which makes communication and flexibility two important factors in a polygamous marriage.
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Good to know: Both spouses receive a single-rate military base allowance for housing (BAH), but only one will receive a dependent child increase.
One of the hardest parts of a dual military marriage is the toll it takes on the family. While this always means there's an exciting adventure around the fold for the kids, it doesn't make for the most stable environment.
All branches require military spouses with children to develop a "Family Care Plan." Although requirements may vary slightly from department to department, the plan will describe exactly how the child will be cared for if both parents are deployed.
Good to know: It is important to remember that failure to plan can lead to deprivation for one or both parents.
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If you and your spouse are both planning on a career in the military, it's possible - just a little difficult. One of the benefits? You'll both be eligible for your own retirement benefits, which can be a huge boon if you retire early.
As far as challenges, there are many. A woman's career may take a back seat due to location, opportunity, or other conflicts. Want to stop at the end of the day? It will be difficult to discuss the day with your other half because you cannot talk about work due to security clearances. You may have to deal with one-to-one comparisons if the part is in the same department and/or location.
Good to know: If you decide that both of you working on active duty isn't working the way you want, you can always choose to choose civilian or defense at the end of the contract.
So, you may ask, "Are there any real benefits to a dual military marriage? Besides falling in love and experiencing a journey together, there are actually some other benefits:
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While a dual military marriage can be a challenge, it also gives you a unique bond that can deepen your love for your country and your significant other.
Want more tips and resources for a successful bi-military marriage? Check with your military installation to see if there is a companion program you can run together.
Are you married in two military services? How do you catch it? We'd love to hear your advice in the comments below!
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Storage or technical access is required to create user profiles to send advertisements, or to track users across a website or multiple websites for the same marketing purpose. My friend Larry is in the military. He and I have a 16 month old daughter and another daughter on the way. We have been living together for three years.
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When I first met him, I was going through a divorce. Larry had a covenant marriage. At the time, I didn't care. I was finally "free" and met a man I really liked.
This marriage contract is made for a girl who needs US citizenship. He was very young at the time and assured that he would get money from it - no, but the girl said that her family was paying Larry for the marriage contract.
After my first child I want to get married and have my own life. I told Larry that it was time for them to divorce.
"I promised him that I would do my part and make him an American citizen," he replied.
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Wow, that hurts to hear! I was also promised. Maybe if you love someone then marrying like that is not a problem.
I let him know my anger about it and we had a break in the relationship. We are back together and I told him I will stay if he divorces me in a few months.
The marriage has not yet been dissolved. Larry assured me that the girl was taking care of him but he made many excuses. Larry insisted that he was right.
He was soon discharged from the army due to surgery. Being pregnant and having a beautiful daughter, I was exhausted as a girlfriend.
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My first marriage was miserable. I live with a man who treats me the worst, but I believe that marriage can work if I put effort and time into it - I could have left it longer, but I didn't.
I seem to be doing the same thing now, giving Larry my time and effort and nothing seems to happen.
Miss Vicky, we will be living in New York after he gets out of the army and I am afraid he will still be married. If so, I think I will continue to live with a deep hatred in my heart for listening to myself.
I love this man; We actually grew up together and have a family. I'm stuck and need some advice.
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In my practice, I help many people who are stuck. Most of them didn't know they were stuck until they met me once or twice. I really appreciate you recognizing that you are stuck.
You also have more insight into your past relationships. You said you were in a previous relationship with someone who didn't treat you well.
It's much easier to find out if you can answer this question: Why are you in a relationship?
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